Why do men cheat? Its a very sensitive subject, one that requires a knowledge of the history of humanity, a window into a mans logic, and most of all an open mind. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t cheat for any of the reasons that most women think we do! Most women think that men cheat because we think that they are inadequate, for a lack of love or that the relationship must be suffering on some level. IN MOST CASES THIS IS NOT THE TRUTH! Not knowing the root cause of the issue is the reason why you cant solve the problem. Its like being a doctor and misdiagnosing the patient! The medicine that most women prescribe usually fails because the issue is not in the relationship! Since most women think it is either with them or the relationship, they prescribe medicines that don’t work like; creating the fear of loss in the man, scare tactics, mind games, and doing things like one of my Facebook friends suggested…which was to get freakier in bed! Sounds good…especially the freaky part but in the end it will not stop the behavior!
The question now becomes…”If its not me, its not the relationship and I cant screw it out of him…then what the hell is the answer?” I thought you guys would never ask a man! Let me explain…Most men don’t even know whats compelling them to cheat which is why they cant stop if they tried! All we know is that the desire to conquer new territory has driven and continues to drive men to new heights…on all all levels! Pussy…especially new pussy…is like gasoline to a man! It keeps us striving to do more, be successful and conquer our fears in every area! That’s the positive side of the equation…no here’s the negative side of it…especially if were in a relationship! The family man inside of us calls us to start a family at some point. Since we live in a monogamous society we know that we can only have one so we try to figure out who best suits our needs and likeness and we settle down. No problems right? Wrong! Soon afterward…the behavior pattern that we had before of juggling multiple women seems to resurface and were now, “cheating” on the one we love. The core issue is NATURE VERSUS NURTURE! It isn’t anything that you are or are not doing to satisfy or push us away! This inspiration to step outside of the relationship shows up in our minds primarily as lust or desire in most cases. On the surface, those women who have a low opinion on the integrity and character of a man will say, “I knew it! Yall just cant keep your dicks in your pants!” My answer to that theory is this…maybe…but maybe not!
The desire to have multiple women doesn’t stem from a purely sexual source. On the surface it sure seems that way…but deeper insight into the evolution of humanity and true nature of man brings it into a more spiritual place. Here is where our discussion gets deep! In nature there are 7 women created to every one man…so there are 6 women left over no matter what you do. Therefore I assert that if God truly intended one man to be with one woman he would have made the odds more even to satisfy the demands of his creation. To figure out Gods true intentions for mans marital status, we can study the biblical accounts and study the life cycles of the mans ability to procreate versus the woman’s ability to do so.
All of God’s mighty men had wives and concubines! From Moses, Abraham, David, Solomon until and through the days of Jesus…the accepted marital system of the day was polygamy. Even unto this day the eastern world, where we all originated from, still accepts polygamy as the legal form of marriage. It is the Western or Western dominated world that endorses monogamy as the only acceptable form of marriage! When you look at the numbers you’ll also see that the divorce rate in monogamous cultures is far greater than it is in polygamous cultures and the tolerance of women on a sexual or perverted level is way below that of our culture. This is due once again to nature versus nurture! We’ve been nurtured to be monogamous but our nature calls us to be polygamous! This is why on the surface we say monogamy rules but behind close doors our lower nature governs some of us to do all sorts of dysfunctional things! Besides all that consider this…if God intended a man to find one woman and settle down for a lifetime and never have sex with another woman then why did he limit the woman’s capacity to procreate after a certain point? Why not make us even since his intentions were for one man for every one woman? Now your saying…”That’s the old testament! In the new covenant God believes in monogamy!” My answer to that is this…I thought that God never changes? I was taught that hes the same in the beginning as he is in the end! We can debate this till the end of time and I’m sure that we will…but the facts are the facts!
Now that we have laid a foundation for the real meat of the discussion lets deal with the mindset of the man. In truth ladies…because managing multiple relationships is in our DNA…when we cheat we really don’t feel like were cheating! It actually feels natural. I have never heard too many men if any say that they are gonna cheat because their wife, girl friend or significant other is not up to par! We cheat because there are different parts of a mans mind that ultimately needs to be nurtured…and not just the lower part. This thought is the toughest for most women. The argument is that …”I should be enough…all that my man needs to be satisfied!” The truth is…”YOU ARE!” You satisfy us for what you provide to us in most cases! As I said before…we’ve been nurtured to accept monogamy but our nature calls us to polygamy! The best way to describe the nature of a man and the nature of the woman is this…Men are like farmers! We can plant multiple seeds in several gardens and tend to them all! Women are like the earth…you have been blessed with equipment that gives you the ability to nurture and raise to life, one seed at a time. In fact, agriculture would define the act of planting 2 seeds in the same hole as an abomination…while at the same time call a farmer who can plant and nurture multiple seeds at the same time and make them all grow strong…a star among stars in the farming world! Sound familiar?!
This is why it is hard for you to divide your emotions. In a mans mind, because we do have that capacity…we don’t feel in our heart of hearts like we are cheating. Its more difficult but not impossible for a woman to sleep around because chances are your emotions will get involved…This is also part of the reason that your man even if he is cheating…will get mad at even the thought let alone the action of you cheating! For us in the beginning its mostly physical! Make sense?
Probably not! LOL! At the end of the day whether you understand why or not what you must be clear about is this…men and women are different in this regard! To put things in better perspective…think about this: When most men think of fame and power…their hopes to some degree are fueled by the idea that they will have women crawling all over them. In the middle east as we saw with 911…some men are willing to even give their lives for the very idea of finding not the woman of their dreams…but the women of their dreams…in fact 40 virgins to be exact! Take this type of thinking versus the idea of sleeping with 49 different men all at the same time unprotected no matter how fine they were! Most women fantasize all their lives about their wedding day…the day that they will become committed to that one special guy versus the man who fantasizes all his life about getting enough fame and fortune to sleep with as many women as possible.
I think that you get the idea of the point I’m making so ill end it here! I would assume that after reading this blog most women are thinking to themselves that there is no hope in finding and keeping a faithful man…i wouldn’t make that judgement to quick…cuz there is hope and a clear strategy for ensuring that your man will be faithful or at least fight like hell to never let you down! Unfortunately that’s the subject of another blog…coming very very soon! Till then don’t forget to submit your comments 7 questions right here on this blog so that others can share in the discussion as you approve or disapprove of this post! Thanks again RO